To believe or not to believe

St. Clements' Church, Hastings Old Town

Seven or eight years ago I started looking more closely at my religious faith.  I'd been brought up, and had remained, a Roman Catholic, but I found myself increasingly questioning some of the fundamental articles of the Creed.  The Virgin Birth was a bit iffy, but as I read more about the origins of Christianity I had growing doubts about the divinity of Jesus.  I could see how it all tied into a neat and logical theological package, but I felt that Jesus himself would have been astonished at people asserting he was God the Son.  

I was not at this stage doubting the existence of God himself.  There had always been a strong spiritual element in my way of thinking and a life without God had always seemed - well, rather a waste of time.  So it was a bit of a body-blow when I read Conceiving God by cognitive archaeologist David Lewis-Williams.  Mr Lewis-Williams drew on what he had learned from studies of caves and cave-paintings to argue that religious experience did not derive from any contact with an external deity.  Rather, the concept of God was the explanation our forefathers gave for phenomena that are essentially within, and part of the workings of, the human brain.

I have never shrunk from the conclusions of science.  If science is able to prove that the earth is round rather than flat I see no reason to maintain the contrary.  David Lewis-Williams' arguments were sufficiently cogent for me to accept them.  However, I found the conclusion depressing.  If God did not exist, and there is nothing beyond what we can see, life had very little meaning.  Moreover, the secular/humanist codes of behaviour did not strike me as having sufficient inspiration behind them to be accepted by the major part of humanity.  The future seemed bleak.  The churches that stud our towns and villages would become entirely redundant.  The fragile foundations of our society would collapse.

However, it appears that my gloom may be unjustified.  I've just read a book called Proof of Heaven by the neurosurgeon Eben Alexander.  The book was written after Mr Alexander had been in a coma for seven days, in the course of which he had a near death experience.  This involved a journey to a place of great beauty in the presence of a guide, and a nonverbal communication between him and a superior presence.  

Most importantly, after Mr Alexander's recovery he was unable to find any physical explanation for his experience.  He knew, from his medical files, that the part of his brain that would normally have produced this sort of vision was so damaged that it could not have been the source.  He used his knowledge of the human brain to consider every possible alternative, but to no effect.

The Virgin Birth remains iffy for me, as does the divinity of Jesus.  But I'm delighted to think that there may after all be something beyond our immediate surroundings. 

Antony Mair