What it says on the tin...isn't enough

Farrow & Ball paints - courtesy of their website



When I was at Oxford, light years ago, the image of the Bullingdon Club members was pretty clear: hearty, wellheeled foxhunting types who spent a lot of time drinking.  So there was a degree of unreality when I heard our Prime Minister, former Bullingdon Club member, refer to the coalition government as a Ronseal product - "it does what it says on the tin".  It's difficult to imagine David Cameron donning his overalls of a weekend for a bit of DIY with some varnish. 

Recent experience teaches me that what a product says on its tin may not give the whole picture in any event.  We have just had a total failure with Farrow & Ball's limewash paint, of which I have bought a mere 30 litres, representing an investment of some £300.  I had bought the limewash since normal paint would not allow the new lime plaster to breathe.  Mick the painter had been schooled in the instructions for application but after four coats the result was still a mess in the three rooms where he had tried the stuff - an uneven coating, looking like a bad attempt at ragrolling.  Then I looked again at the guidance notes and saw that the limewash isn't appropriate in any event for a non-porous surface; this meant that the paint was totally wrong for the other - non-lime-plastered - walls that needed decorating.  Ouch.

Our French experience, with the beautiful lime-based paint from Color Rare, had led me to think that we could just limewash every wall.  But this watery product from F & B was very different from the ice-cream-like paint we had known in France.  Which just goes to show that you need to rely on professionals rather than think you know the answers - or, alternatively, read all the small print.

That's why I'm not convinced by the Prime Minister.  I suspect that he's never used Ronseal in his life.  If he had, he'd have realised you need to know more than what's on the tin.  Which goes for the coalition government too.

Antony Mair